Worst Movie Ever!

Leaf · Joined: 31 Oct 2009 Posts: 1917

As the title suggests, discuss what movie you considered to be the biggest waste of time that you ever experienced. By this, I mean the kind you movies you wish to beat the ever living tar out of whoever was involved with the movie.

For me, the worst movie I ever saw was Bruno. I rented this movie because I heard how hilarious Sacha Baron Cohen was in Borat. I figured if that movie was good, then Bruno would be just as funny.

First few minutes in, I honestly though someone played a bad joke and swapped the movie with a gay porno. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the actual movie. And when that scene involving the treadmill and the Pygmy happened... :shock:

I couldn't even finish watching the movie. Just thinking about that scene makes me cringe...

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

Epic Movie.

It's just Epic Fail. I would have enjoyed watching a guy shit on another guys chest more than watching that load of trash.

OK, maybe not, but that's how that movie makes me feel.

Evan_Himmel · Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 1526

I hate every movie made by Uwe Boll, the sad part is that the duech bag keeps thinking that he is a great director.

If you need eny proof click if feal so bold.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/11343-alone

Aaron_Thom · Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 3138

Beowulf, I walked out halfway through the movie. That and the 300 sucked bad. Both complete disappointments.

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

Aaron_Thom wrote: Beowulf, I walked out halfway through the movie. That and the 300 sucked bad. Both complete disappointments. 300!? I thought it was great. As for Beowulf, I simply had no interest in it from the get go. I'll stick with the Christopher Lambert Beowulf.

The Watchmen. What the fuck was with that? So much hype over it... I watched it to see what the hype was and just sat there thinking "Whaaa...?" The only good part was when they screwed in that hover craft, and even that was only mildly entertaining.

Shadow_Twisted · Joined: 30 Aug 2008 Posts: 1436

I think I'm going to go ahead and say The Hangover. A few parts made me laugh, but even more made me just want to be somewhere else. Overall, not my kind of humor.

xAlucardx · Joined: 14 Mar 2010 Posts: 856

Meet the Spartans. I asked for my money back. I didn't get it, but I asked.

Aaron_Thom · Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 3138

Silvador wrote: 300!? I thought it was great. As for Beowulf, I simply had no interest in it from the get go. I'll stick with the Christopher Lambert Beowulf.

Eh its the history side of me. Spartans had armor on, they were not bear chested. I mean come on to go into battle without armor on. They're Greeks for crying out loud. All Greek Soldiers had body armor. The Persians looked to subhuman and the Immortals, what the hell. They also made the few other Greeks that were with them seem pathetic. During the Real battle there were 8000 Greek Soldiers with the 300. When the Spartans got overwhelmed in the end there was also 1000 Greeks that remained behind to aid them...

Umm heh sorry for ranting so much. I Like to see things be at least a little accurate when it comes to movies like this.

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

Aaron_Thom wrote: Silvador wrote: 300!? I thought it was great. As for Beowulf, I simply had no interest in it from the get go. I'll stick with the Christopher Lambert Beowulf.

Eh its the history side of me. Spartans had armor on, they were not bear chested. I mean come on to go into battle without armor on. They're Greeks for crying out loud. All Greek Soldiers had body armor. The Persians looked to subhuman and the Immortals, what the hell. They also made the few other Greeks that were with them seem pathetic. During the Real battle there were 8000 Greek Soldiers with the 300. When the Spartans got overwhelmed in the end there was also 1000 Greeks that remained behind to aid them...

Umm heh sorry for ranting so much. I Like to see things be at least a little accurate when it comes to movies like this. Understandable. I saw a documentary on the discovery channel about that battle and they covered so much more, including certain points that took place at sea. The thing with the movie is, it was down according to the graphic novel, so the accuracy is to be blamed there really. But aside from the historical side, it was the general portrayal of the battle, everything that makes a great film a great film. Even if it wasn't entirely accurate to history, it was still downright fantastic. But yes, I understand your point of view on the matter.

Caroline · Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 1796

Aaron Thom wrote:

Quote: they were not bear chested

((Light I would hope not. Could you immagine having the chest of a bear? Though, I guess that could be some new form of Lycanthropy, and I do kinda like our bear Xebulon... Or... did you mean "Bare" as in "in the buff"

...sorry... my lame attempt at humor.

Well, since we're all chiming in about 300 right now, my big problem with it is that my dad served for some 20+ years in the Reserves... and so the fact the Acadians stood up to be counted, and the Spartans basically spat up on them struck a sour chord with me.

Anyway, as to the worst movie? "Mutant Chronicles". I like the Mutant Chronicles near-future setting. I've played the RPG and minitatures game based on it. I like the near-apocalyptic setting, where technology and science is unreliable due to the influances of the Dark Legion. I like how the five corporations battle it out like animals over the last, remaining scraps of society while trying to avoid the influances of the Dark Legion. I like how the five Apostles of the Dark Legion are constantly fighting amongst each other for who is supreame... (way better than how "Chaos" in Warhammer seems to get along just fine). It's just an awesome setting to me.

And the movie blew... horribly.... Worse, I have the stupid BluRay taking up space on my shelf. Ugh that thing was bad.))

xAlucardx · Joined: 14 Mar 2010 Posts: 856

ooh and the Resident Evil movies sucked too. If you haven't seen one, don't, and preserve the good image of Resident Evil

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

WANTED...
Could they have over done the special effect anymore if they tried? The story itself could have used some work to. Not to mention that Angelina just isn't as hot as people keep trying to make her out to be.

Hmm, what else, oh yeah... Max Payne. I feel violated. Whatever that movie did for the game, it was far from justice.

And now I am going to gripe on a movie that I haven't even seen, but was totally appalled just by the previews alone.

Dragonball Evolution. Whoever got their hands on this need to be shot. So many inaccuracies just in the previews alone. Whenever it was advertised, I just wanted to smash my TV with a sledge hammer.

Jerin Nekros · Joined: 10 Jun 2009 Posts: 727

Aaron_Thom wrote: Silvador wrote: 300!? I thought it was great. As for Beowulf, I simply had no interest in it from the get go. I'll stick with the Christopher Lambert Beowulf.

Eh its the history side of me. Spartans had armor on, they were not bear chested. I mean come on to go into battle without armor on. They're Greeks for crying out loud. All Greek Soldiers had body armor. The Persians looked to subhuman and the Immortals, what the hell. They also made the few other Greeks that were with them seem pathetic. During the Real battle there were 8000 Greek Soldiers with the 300. When the Spartans got overwhelmed in the end there was also 1000 Greeks that remained behind to aid them...

Umm heh sorry for ranting so much. I Like to see things be at least a little accurate when it comes to movies like this.

I'll give you that Aaron, but you have to remember that 300 is the legend of what happened, not the historical facts.

dragonfly · Joined: 30 Sep 2009 Posts: 8811

there is three movies i hate MORE THEN ANYTHING i wont mention what's it name is since people will go on and on and f***ing on how good it is

in my view they suck donkey balls i guess it's like marmite either ya love it or ya hate it

also another movie i hate is juno my god i got told it was brillant the people who can watch it and not fall asleep must be blind or like crap comedy

and don't even think about telling me that the movie called lesbian vampier killers is good because i swear if ya do i will shot ya

Leaf · Joined: 31 Oct 2009 Posts: 1917

Lesbian Vampire Killers? That just sounds like a poorly made porno.

Of course, I remember another terrible movie: The Super Mario Brothers Movie!

Whoever came up with this movie had little if ANY understanding about the franchise! :evil:

It was like a sci-fi movie gone wrong, especially with the "Goombas" that looked like voodoo victims!

BioRust · Joined: 25 Oct 2009 Posts: 2070

At least they got the Bob-omb right.

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

Leaf wrote: Lesbian Vampire Killers? That just sounds like a poorly made porno.

Of course, I remember another terrible movie: The Super Mario Brothers Movie!

Whoever came up with this movie had little if ANY understanding about the franchise! :evil:

It was like a sci-fi movie gone wrong, especially with the "Goombas" that looked like voodoo victims! -throws Bob-ombs at Leaf-
BLASPHEMY! HERETIC!

xAlucardx · Joined: 14 Mar 2010 Posts: 856

I laughed the whole way through Paranormal Activity. and if you've seen that, see Paranormal Entity, the slightly better mockbuster XD

cheesecaked · Joined: 02 Oct 2009 Posts: 6458

xAlucardx wrote: ooh and the Resident Evil movies sucked too. If you haven't seen one, don't, and preserve the good image of Resident Evil

part 1 isn't that bad, part 2 and 3 kinda... ok to bad to some people's reviews.

Blair Witch XD lol

but funny how bad movies makes pretty good video games,
and good video games makes bad movies.

Blair Witch Project the video game was pretty good, if you like that Classic Resident Evil, Alone in the Dark, style gameplay.

cheesecaked · Joined: 02 Oct 2009 Posts: 6458

Evan_Himmel wrote: I hate every movie made by Uwe Boll, i sad part is that the duech bag keeps thinking that he is a great director.

If you need eny proof click if feal so bold.

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/11343-alone

you can't have enough cow bell

oh and i heard theres a part 2.

Chaosengine · Joined: 18 Dec 2008 Posts: 3307

Caroline wrote: Aaron Thom wrote:

Quote: they were not bear chested

((Light I would hope not. Could you immagine having the chest of a bear? Though, I guess that could be some new form of Lycanthropy, and I do kinda like our bear Xebulon... Or... did you mean "Bare" as in "in the buff"

...sorry... my lame attempt at humor.

Well, since we're all chiming in about 300 right now, my big problem with it is that my dad served for some 20+ years in the Reserves... and so the fact the Acadians stood up to be counted, and the Spartans basically spat up on them struck a sour chord with me.

Anyway, as to the worst movie? "Mutant Chronicles". I like the Mutant Chronicles near-future setting. I've played the RPG and minitatures game based on it. I like the near-apocalyptic setting, where technology and science is unreliable due to the influances of the Dark Legion. I like how the five corporations battle it out like animals over the last, remaining scraps of society while trying to avoid the influances of the Dark Legion. I like how the five Apostles of the Dark Legion are constantly fighting amongst each other for who is supreame... (way better than how "Chaos" in Warhammer seems to get along just fine). It's just an awesome setting to me.

And the movie blew... horribly.... Worse, I have the stupid BluRay taking up space on my shelf. Ugh that thing was bad.))

Ah, Mutant Chronicles... was tried to be released in the U.S. years ago under the moniker, "Doom Troopers." I own a miniatures board game, a CCG and a genesis cart all based on it. All were flops though...

Worst Movie: TITANIC!!! Boring... boring... BORING!!!

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

Chaosengine wrote:
Worst Movie: TITANIC!!! Boring... boring... BORING!!! I once heard someone say the best part of that movie was when Leonardo DiCaprio died.

xAlucardx · Joined: 14 Mar 2010 Posts: 856

Silvador wrote: Chaosengine wrote:
Worst Movie: TITANIC!!! Boring... boring... BORING!!! I once heard someone say the best part of that movie was when Leonardo DiCaprio died.

I would have fist-pumped. I probably did, can't remember

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

xAlucardx wrote: Silvador wrote: Chaosengine wrote:
Worst Movie: TITANIC!!! Boring... boring... BORING!!! I once heard someone say the best part of that movie was when Leonardo DiCaprio died.

I would have fist-pumped. I probably did, can't remember Never seen the movie myself, no interest to either.

xAlucardx · Joined: 14 Mar 2010 Posts: 856

classic movie, just not action-packed at all

dragonfly · Joined: 30 Sep 2009 Posts: 8811

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 1 2 AND 3 HOW I HATE THESE SO MUCH SERISELY NOW WHEN HAVE YA EVER SEEN A SCHOOL ALL GET UP AND START DANCING AND SINGING

because i never have i meen if ya where at school and a bunch of kids did that you would think they where a bunch of retards or ya would beat the crap out of them

Silvador · Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 10874

dragonfly wrote: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 1 2 AND 3 HOW I HATE THESE SO MUCH SERISELY NOW WHEN HAVE YA EVER SEEN A SCHOOL ALL GET UP AND START DANCING AND SINGING

because i never have i meen if ya where at school and a bunch of kids did that you would think they where a bunch of retards or ya would beat the crap out of them -slowly inches away from dragonfly-

Chaosengine · Joined: 18 Dec 2008 Posts: 3307

I agree with Dragonfly. Any movie produced by Nic or Disney based off one of their "feel-good", teenie bopper shows.

Hannah Montana, Glee Club, HSM, The Jonas Brothers...

ALL CRAP!!

I know I'm a moldy curmudgeon... but still...

*BARF*

Shadow_Twisted · Joined: 30 Aug 2008 Posts: 1436

90% of Disney movies nowadays are sequels to movies that never needed sequels and that only seek to destroy the classics. For those pondering the remaining 10%, as memory serves the new Alice in Wonderland was done by Disney and I enjoyed it.

Let's see...usually any/all SciFi original movies blow hardcore. Either through laughably poor special effects or completely lacking storylines.

Evan_Himmel · Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 1526

Chaosengine wrote: I agree with Dragonfly. Any movie produced by Nic or Disney based off one of their "feel-good", teenie bopper shows.

Hannah Montana, Glee Club, HSM, The Jonas Brothers...

ALL CRAP!!

I know I'm a moldy curmudgeon... but still...

*BARF* I dont blame you.

*shivers as he rembers haveing to deal with his two youngest little sisters constantly insisting in watching thous shows.*

I still hate them.