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Arianoelle_Yenearsira
Joined: 25 Nov 2009
Posts: 971
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:26 am Post subject: What Pets Write in their Diaries... |
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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... |
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Maxwell The Tiger
Joined: 23 Nov 2009
Posts: 4436
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:44 am Post subject: |
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Clever, The dog one was funny.
But erm, I think it's creepy that my cat is staring at me now. |
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Arianoelle_Yenearsira
Joined: 25 Nov 2009
Posts: 971
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:46 am Post subject: |
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| Hehehe |
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Maxwell The Tiger
Joined: 23 Nov 2009
Posts: 4436
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:47 am Post subject: |
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| It's...Just...Staring Blankly... |
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Hoshiginiro
Joined: 03 Feb 2010
Posts: 6042
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:44 pm Post subject: |
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i think it would have been just as funny if the diary was a Persian cat or a Siamese they think they own us
if this is true then why hasn't my cat run away he lives in the garage and goes outside often |
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Chaosengine
Joined: 18 Dec 2008
Posts: 3307
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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My roommates cat has been stealing the toilet paper.
She knows... she KNOWS!! |
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cheesecaked
Joined: 02 Oct 2009
Posts: 6293
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| Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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Almost thought the same thing for the dog, but more for a simple dog.
12:00 pm, find bone
2:00 pm, dig hole for bone.
4:00 pm, buried bone.
Next day, repeat. |
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The Adept
Joined: 28 Oct 2009
Posts: 3757
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| Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Hey I take offence to this joke *shiney ball passes by* SHINY BALL!!! My favorite thing *takes off towerds shiney ball* |
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45dragoons
Joined: 12 Mar 2010
Posts: 4163
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| Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| lol the cat one was my fav XD |
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Jerin Nekros
Joined: 10 Jun 2009
Posts: 727
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| Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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The Adept wrote: Hey I take offence to this joke *shiney ball passes by* SHINY BALL!!! My favorite thing *takes off towerds shiney ball*
*blinks and watches Adept run of.* There are things to be said for not being domesticated. |
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