Humor: Out of the Mouths of Men

[BioRust]

A quick glimpse into the language of the average man.

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by
a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of
the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers
of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death
before I admit that I am hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said,
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough
so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: ""Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

My fav is the last one. ::0tongue::

[Hoshiginiro]

WOW :shock: what insight ^_~ thanks for posting this now i will know when to beat him upside the head

[Rune174]

That is actually pretty clever. Jokes like that would be a hoot for conversation at parties.

[Catherine_Puce]

Odd for one of my friend "I'M GOING FISHING" means "Once again the drug store accepted to sell me stuff that allow me to make enough explosive to level up the house if I don't come back with food this mean that the lake are really empty."

C'est une bonne chose qu'il réside très loin de chez moi.

S.P.P.