Scruples Question

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

This is not hypothetical.

What do you do when your 37 year old boss takes a 21 year old girl, who you like a lot, and is a really good friend but didn't pursue because you thought she was too young for you, back to his hotel for the obvious?

HSHP · Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 309

roxstar wrote: This is not hypothetical.

What do you do when your 37 year old boss takes a 21 year old girl, who you like a lot, and is a really good friend but didn't pursue because you thought she was too young for you, back to his hotel for the obvious?

Hmmm, smack yourself for missing your shot? Unless she's just a golddigger then consider yourself lucky he has to deal with her and you don't.

Age, in certain circumstances, shouldn't be an obstacle. The friendship thing would be more of one than that (which is a problem I have with someone on my side of the screen, though it's more her problem than mine). Maybe, depending on when you realized your feelings, you could've started hinting at how you felt or maybe asking her veiled questions that would've told you how she felt about you without actually tipping your hand?

JanaCova · Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 1933

roxstar wrote: This is not hypothetical.

What do you do when your 37 year old boss takes a 21 year old girl, who you like a lot, and is a really good friend but didn't pursue because you thought she was too young for you, back to his hotel for the obvious?

Age is not important,I dont know how old you are:But I have a friend and he is 30 years old and he is dateing my cousin and she is only 17 years old.We thought he may be perverd becouse he started dateing her when she was 14 years old.But they have great relationship and they love each other.
So I guss that the girl couldnt be to young for you.And you should do everything to let her know what your felings are,just be careful for you boss,he could fire you.And you are saying that this girl is your friend so you should know little bit more about her,what she likes,what kinde of guys she likes no???

Good luck Roxstar.

jana xoxo

Rich · Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 620

roxstar wrote: This is not hypothetical.

What do you do when your 37 year old boss takes a 21 year old girl, who you like a lot, and is a really good friend but didn't pursue because you thought she was too young for you, back to his hotel for the obvious?

Ok, roxstar, sorry, but I gotta be smartass on this one. What do you do? You mind your own business! :lol:

Rich

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

It is my business....
Its my boss, my friend, my job on the line if I say too much.
My boss is also a friend, (at least I thought he was) and I trusted him to stay away from her. I also know that on this visit he's been with at least 4 different girls in the last 7 days.
Some people think thats a good thing, but I don't.
He's only 2 years older than me.
I'm so annoyed about this I couldn't sleep, and I have to go an work with him in about 1 hr.

arse

:evil: ::crazy::

Dave T · Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 326

roxstar wrote: It is my business....
Its my boss, my friend, my job on the line if I say too much.
My boss is also a friend, (at least I thought he was) and I trusted him to stay away from her. I also know that on this visit he's been with at least 4 different girls in the last 7 days.
Some people think thats a good thing, but I don't.
He's only 2 years older than me.
I'm so annoyed about this I couldn't sleep, and I have to go an work with him in about 1 hr.

arse

:evil: ::crazy::

Difficult situation and you have my sympathy.

I agree with the others that maybe you are making too big a thing about the age difference.

A few weeks ago I was at a party with a girl I used to work with who I really like but who is 18 years younger than me. I'd never done anything about it because I just felt a bit weird making a move on someone so young. Anyway, we were at this party and, much to my surprise, she made a move on me. The age difference was much more a problem for me than it was for her.

I think it says something good about you that you would consider something like that from different angles (unlike, say, your boss who just sounds like a rutting dog!). But don't discount a relationship with anyone just because of age. There are other things that are much more important.

Dave T

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

just as long as its legal.....

Dave T · Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 326

Legal? Needless to say, when I said she was 18 years younger than me, you have to remember that I'm a wizened fortysomething!

I was thinking about your situation and something else came to mind...

I don't know whether it is common knowledge that your boss took your friend back to his hotel.

But I would be careful if you decide to let her know how you feel about her. If she hasn't realised up tilll now that you would like to be more than just friends with her, it would be very easy for her to misinterpret any advances by you as simply being a response to what happened with your boss. She could think that the only reason you are interested in her is because you heard what happened with your boss and therefore think she's 'easy'.

Just a thought.

Anyway, I hope things work out for you.

Dave T

craigfox · Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 855

Jana Cova wrote: .We thought he may be perverd becouse he started dateing her when she was 14 years old.

Very good reason to think so I might add. When I was 16 a young girl moved into my neighborhood. She was 10. Of course I had no attraction to her then, I was more interested in the girls in my sophomore class. She grew up to my surprize to be quite the beautiful young lady. We got together when I was 25 and she was 19. I am still close friends with her. After legal age its all good if you ask me. 25 and 19 does not sound so bad. But 16 and 10, her dad would have killed me. He used to make jokes that I was just waiting for the fruit to ripen on the vine. At first he did not like me untill I proved to him what a gentlemen I am. Now were good friends too, even though her and I are not a pair anymore.

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

well,
I spoke to my boss about it, still didn't find out if he slept with her or not. They got kicked out of the club we were in cos they were getting a bit too "fruity".
Its all ok work-wise but its gonna be weird seeing the girl again. I'm not gonna pursue her though. Just leave things as they are.
really tired and hungover but found a great drink called Alkaway, which seems to have killed off the hangover.

Tonight's challenge:
meet a beautiful girl and this time in my drunkeness remember to ask for a phone number (not like i did last night and last weekend).

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

JanaCova wrote: And you should do everything to let her know what your felings are

Thats never worked for me in the past. Usually scares them off. Probably best to let the tongue do the talking....
:wink:

Vanilla · Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 519

With regards to age i think that as long as there isn't a massive age gap (Hef i know your watching :D ) and both members of the relationship are mature and understanding towards each other and the given situations then it's cool, i'm in my 20's but would be fine with dating an older chick (Angelina Joile i know your watching :D )as long as her intentions where sound and she didn't look like Sly Stalone's mum, AAAAARGH!!!

Rich · Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 620

roxstar wrote: well,
I spoke to my boss about it, still didn't find out if he slept with her or not. They got kicked out of the club we were in cos they were getting a bit too "fruity".
Its all ok work-wise but its gonna be weird seeing the girl again. I'm not gonna pursue her though. Just leave things as they are.
really tired and hungover but found a great drink called Alkaway, which seems to have killed off the hangover.

Tonight's challenge:
meet a beautiful girl and this time in my drunkeness remember to ask for a phone number (not like i did last night and last weekend).

Man, what are you doing snooping to find out if your boss and this girl slept together? That is soooo un-cool. After all, regardless of the age differences, they are BOTH OVER 21; therefore, can do as they please. If your boss had "bragged" to you that he slept with her, then I'd say he was a pretty inconsiderate dog, myself. So my hat's off to him for keeping his trap shut. And you shouldn't wonder what they did or didn't do, really, even if you do like her (in fact, knowing it happened would only make you feel bad, so you're better off not knowing). Remember she is an adult who can do as she pleases regardless of whether or not you like her, or like her choice of "date". You gotta be cool and try to forget they ever had a date. If you like her, then simply pursue her in a casual, non-chalant manner, and NEVER ask her about the date she had with the boss. If anything, should the subject come up, simply act like you had no idea.

Trust me on this. :wink:

Rich

P.S.

Perhaps we should ask Jana for a female's point of view on this sort of thing????

Finally, if you really like her, I do hope it works out for you. And, remember, NEVER rub the boss in her face even later on after the two of you (hopefully) get together.

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

Now that the heat is off, I can see a little clearer.
theres a lot more baggage to add to the situation, but for the sake of privacy i left it out, just in case.
Basically I've known this girl since she was about 11 years old.
Obviously i never liked her in that way back then, and i'm not even sure i do now. I never said i fancied her, only that i liked her a lot. Its more a care thing if that makes sense.
but because there's such a history I guess I treat her a little differently, more like family, like a niece or something....
i think thats why I'm so bothered about it all

Also Rich, remember my boss is my friend. that makes a big difference. I guess its all worked out pretty well now really, he knows its affected me and he knows why, not because of anything i said, but because he can read me well. And she actually told him how long shes known me. I think he knows he overstepped the mark.

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

myself wrote:

Tonight's challenge:
meet a beautiful girl and this time in my drunkeness remember to ask for a phone number (not like i did last night and last weekend).

Update:
partial success. asked for a phone number but didn't get it. But I know wher she works and she said i can come see her, then we'll go out.
:)

Rich · Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 620

roxstar wrote:

Update:
partial success. asked for a phone number but didn't get it. But I know wher she works and she said i can come see her, then we'll go out.
:)

Poor roxstar doesn't seem to have much luck with women these days. We may have to re-name you the Charlie Brown of the dating game. :wink:

Well, hang in there, buddy!

Rich

JanaCova · Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 1933

roxstar wrote: It is my business....
My boss is also a friend, (at least I thought he was) and I trusted him to stay away from her. I also know that on this visit he's been with at least 4 different girls in the last 7 days.

:evil: ::crazy::

I dont think so that your boss(friend )have seriouse intention with this girl.Like you sad he had 4 diferent girls in one week.He will telling her how much he love her and that he would like to have kids with her but only one thing he really wants from her is sex with her and than when she give him this he will kick her out and start looking for another gilr.He wants just another girl in his colectin.I hate this type of guys :twisted: SO dont be sad even if she will sleep with him she dont will stay with him and than you can make the move.

jana xoxo

JanaCova · Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 1933

roxstar wrote:
partial success. asked for a phone number but didn't get it. But I know wher she works and she said i can come see her, then we'll go out.
:)

Dont go to see her,if you really like her and you know where she works just send her a flowers,it works almoust everytime.And put there a little card with your phone number.It will works :wink:
jana xoxo

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

JanaCova wrote:
Dont go to see her,if you really like her and you know where she works just send her a flowers,it works almoust everytime.And put there a little card with your phone number.It will works :wink:
jana xoxo
You know what? this forum is great!
where else can a guy get dating advice from a Pornstar?
Thanks Jana, thats a really great suggestion. I think I'll give it a try.
8)

Wildcard · Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

Hey roxstar, did you ever stop to think that perhaps she was just testing you by going out with your boss and maybe slipping between the sheets with him (or at least letting you think she did)? Perhaps she just wanted to see how you would react to it as a way of determining whether you are attracted to her or not. On top of that she may be interested in you but not want to say so and/or becoming weary of waiting for you to step up to the plate. Women like to play these little games to see how much interest a guy has in them, and also just to test that they're still desirable and can attract a guy whenever they want. It seems the age thing was no problem for her since she went out with your boss, and that was probably just another part of her little game, to give you a clear indication that the age factor is something she could really care less about. On the other hand she could just be toying with you, but since you say you're friends then it would seem less likely that that's the case, but you never know with women and all the games they love to play.

Rich · Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 620

Wildcard wrote: Hey roxstar, did you ever stop to think that perhaps she was just testing you by going out with your boss and maybe slipping between the sheets with him (or at least letting you think she did)? Perhaps she just wanted to see how you would react to it as a way of determining whether you are attracted to her or not. On top of that she may be interested in you but not want to say so and/or becoming weary of waiting for you to step up to the plate. Women like to play these little games to see how much interest a guy has in them, and also just to test that they're still desirable and can attract a guy whenever they want. It seems the age thing was no problem for her since she went out with your boss, and that was probably just another part of her little game, to give you a clear indication that the age factor is something she could really care less about. On the other hand she could just be toying with you, but since you say you're friends then it would seem less likely that that's the case, but you never know with women and all the games they love to play.

Leave it to Mr. Fabulous to think it's the chick who's playing games. Maybe she and the boss both just wanted to go out on a date together. And neither one of them are up to anything at all. Just two people going on a date that may or may not have lead to something more intimate. Gosh, you guys' minds seem to be in the gutter an awful lot these days. Quick and ready to see the evil side of the human spirit instead of the good side (you guys been reading too much on the US Presidential race, I think LOL) :roll:

By the way, where have you been, Wildcard? There's been no sign of you in a couple days, we were beginning to wonder - Not to mention things were starting to get too serious around here without your input.

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

wildcard wrote: On top of that she may be interested in you but not want to say so and/or becoming weary of waiting for you to step up to the plate. Women like to play these little games to see how much interest a guy has in them
Mindgames huh? Thats an interesting suggestion. But in their devious plans do girls stop to consider that maybe a guy doesn't want "Sloppy Seconds" after his boss? Cos I certainly don't.

One funny thing i forgot to mention, is that her older sister (married) was hitting on me all night that night telling me her husband was away so it was OK. She is really hot too, but thats one thing I won't ever do. So I guess it is feasible that th other girl got jealous or something...

You seen them T-shirts with "men lie" written on them? I wanna get one made which says "men lie, women deceive" closer to the truth I think. Of course men lie. everyone lies, women are just more devious about it. :wink:

I think Jana has her finger on the pulse with this one.
Jana wrote: He will telling her how much he love her and that he would like to have kids with her but only one thing he really wants from her is sex with her and than when she give him this he will kick her out and start looking for another gilr.He wants just another girl in his colectin.I hate this type of guys :twisted:

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

Rich,

All this stuff was happening in the same nightclub I was in. Not on a date or anything vaguely like it. They just started making out right in front of everyone, me included. And when they left my boss grabbed me to let me know they were going back to his hotel. Its hard to see anything other than the evil side.

One lesson I have learned:
Don't introduce my boss to my female friends.

JanaCova · Joined: 09 Aug 2004 Posts: 1933

roxstar wrote: Rich,

One lesson I have learned:
Don't introduce my boss to my female friends.

Just do it,the girls will know sooner or later that he likes girls a lot and that he can not keep his hends just on one girl.Girls are smart :wink:
But one day he will want one girl really bad but she will be not interesting aobut him and this will heard him a lot.i sew this many times.
jana xoxo

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

JanaCova wrote: the girls will know sooner or later that he likes girls a lot and that he can not keep his hends just on one girl.

sadly i don't think thats true in his case.
I know at least 3 girls who think they are his girlfriend now.
and it they keep coming back for more no matter how bad he treats them.
Why do girls like those types of guys?
I'm better looking than he is, I'm honest, romantic, genuine, caring, the perfect gentleman. I'm not for on-night stands. I'll go out of my way to make a girl happy, and I don't do cheesy chat up lines.
I'm just not as self confident as he is, and thats my only bad point, and if I was self confident like that, I'd probably be a shithead too.

electrondady1 · Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 212

roxstar, i think you should take a little time and decide what YOU want . once that is defined make a plan and stick to it.the clarity will give you confidence.first comes the power then comes the money then comes the woman.women love a gentleman but most are also attracted to a rogue. sometimes a womans ego comes into play," they're the one to tame that badboy".have you ever seen the covers of some of those romance novels. this duality is in all of us.

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

electrondady1 wrote: roxstar, i think you should take a little time and decide what YOU want .
thats easy. decided that long ago. I just want someone lovely to share my life with, plain and simple.

Wildcard · Joined: 16 Jul 2004 Posts: 2133

As do I, roxstar. Someone who is cute rather than lovely would even be perfectly alright with me. Of course it's never going to happen, because women would rather turn their noses up at me instead of giving me some semblance of an honest chance. Hopefully you will be luckier than I.

roxstar · Joined: 04 Sep 2004 Posts: 413

hey don't be down on yourself like that.
one thing which i found encouraging since going out clubbing a lot lately, is the amount of times I found myself saying "How does a guy like that get a girl like that????"
It was many times.
So basically there is hope for all of us.

Dave T · Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 326

roxstar wrote:
where else can a guy get dating advice from a Pornstar?
Thanks Jana, thats a really great suggestion. I think I'll give it a try.
8)

I might be being a little over-sensitive here, but I feel really uncomfortable referring to Jana as a "pornstar".

I think there is a very big difference between the sort of erotic modelling that Jana does and the world of hardcore porn, although I do appreciate that I might be just splitting hairs.

Jana, can I ask how you feel about it? Do you mind being referred to as a "pornstar"?

Dave T