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BioRust
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 2070
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| Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 8:23 pm Post subject: JOKE: Buttered Corn |
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There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.
"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.
She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."
The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.
"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."
"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.
"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"
"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.
He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.
"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.
"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."
"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"
He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.
"What do you want for some water?"
"You have to have sex with me."
Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.
"Do me here," she told him.
He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.
"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"
The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.
"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."
"Then lay back and close your eyes again."
This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.
"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."
"Eyes closed," he says.
Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.
"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.
So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.
One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!" |
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Wolf Stride
Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 7527
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:13 am Post subject: |
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*facepalm*
Wait a minute...
*pukes then facepalms.* |
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mackwell
Joined: 06 Dec 2009
Posts: 312
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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| what happens in the desert stays in the desert lol |
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BioRust
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 2070
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| no kidding |
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Wolf Stride
Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 7527
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Unless the guy with a jeep, cash and water talks. |
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BioRust
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 2070
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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| true, cus he never ate the corn. |
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Wolf Stride
Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 7527
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Please do not mention Corn around me for at least a few days so that this joke stops affecting my stomach. |
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BioRust
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 2070
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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| sure thing. no more [word censorded due to uncontrollable vomiting] from me. |
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Wolf Stride
Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 7527
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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| [word censored] you. |
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BioRust
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 2070
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Now why would you want to go and do that. Why can't we all just be civil. |
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xxthalexx
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 1159
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| Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Dont worry Bio, I want too have sexual relations with you as well. |
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mackwell
Joined: 06 Dec 2009
Posts: 312
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| Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 8:14 am Post subject: |
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| i want to start a mass orgy with every single person in the forums lol. jk. my wife might not like that |
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Wolf Stride
Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 7527
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| Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:15 am Post subject: |
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And that is my cue to leave.
*Leaves Adult Jokes/ Humor & Erotic Stories Forum.* |
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mackwell
Joined: 06 Dec 2009
Posts: 312
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| Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| oh i wont be in it. but i need some footage for my new film lol |
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dragonfly
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Posts: 8810
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| Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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| ok i was gonna say something but im gonna *runs away* BYE |
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BioRust
Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 2070
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| Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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| i'm not even going to ask. |
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mackwell
Joined: 06 Dec 2009
Posts: 312
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| Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| lol. that does sound a little creepy. but i've wanted to direct porn for some time now, so i need to gauge peoples reactions to some weird stuff first before i go into the more mainstream kind |
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Wolf Stride
Joined: 18 Dec 2009
Posts: 7527
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| Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:37 am Post subject: |
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Uhh...
You do realize that you need a license along with a contract that states that the people used in a film have agreed to be filmed under such actions, right? |
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