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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 7:28 am Post subject: Stages of Life |
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Stages of Life
On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a lifespan of 20 years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me 10 years and I'll give you the other ten". So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a 20 year lifespan."
The monkey said, "How boring. Monkey tricks for 20 years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back 10, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go in the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to the farmer. I will give you a lifespan of 60 years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. Let me have 20 and I'll give you back the other 40." And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you 20 years."
Man said, "What? Only 20 years! Tell you what, I'll take my 20, and the 40 the cow gave back, and the 10 the monkey gave back, as well as the 10 the dog gave back ... That makes 80, okay?"
"Okay", said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you ... |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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| funny yet true Rich, I personally am hoping to go the Hugh heffner route, but without need need for viagra :D |
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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2004 6:01 am Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: funny yet true Rich, I personally am hoping to go the Hugh heffner route, but without need need for viagra :D
Good luck with the Hugh Hefner route :lol: |
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Jim
Joined: 13 Aug 2004
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2004 7:48 am Post subject: |
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| Holy crap Rich, that is just so true! :lol: |
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JanaCova
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 1933
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| Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2004 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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Jim wrote: Holy crap Rich, that is just so true! :lol:
It is thrue,i liked it Rich.
jana xoxo |
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Wildcard
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Posts: 2133
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| Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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| I'll sell my last 40 to the highest bidder. |
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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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Wildcard wrote: I'll sell my last 40 to the highest bidder.
Wildcard - You're just now getting around to this thread? Where have you been? Believe it or not some people might have missed you a little. I'm not sure who, but someone probably did. :lol:
Rich |
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Wildcard
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Posts: 2133
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| Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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Uncle Pepe wrote: Wildcard wrote: I'll sell my last 40 to the highest bidder.
Wildcard - You're just now getting around to this thread? Where have you been? Believe it or not some people might have missed you a little. I'm not sure who, but someone probably did.
Nah. Like my quote modification? |
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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 2:47 am Post subject: |
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Wildcard wrote: Nah. Like my quote modification?
Yeah, I do kinda. :roll:
Maybe I should rejoin as Uncle Pepe. Think Jana would realize it was me, or think I was some new guy?
Rich |
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JanaCova
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 1933
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| Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:40 am Post subject: |
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Rich wrote: Maybe I should rejoin as Uncle Pepe. Think Jana would realize it was me, or think I was some new guy?
Rich
I would know it is you Rich :P
jana xoxo |
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Wildcard
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Posts: 2133
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| Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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Rich wrote: Maybe I should rejoin as Uncle Pepe.
You can just keep your forum name the way it is. I don't want to always be referring to you as uncle Pepe. I'll leave that privilege for your niece. :) |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:49 am Post subject: |
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| I was actually thinking of taking on a new identity, Vanilla is getting a bit old hat, any idea's? |
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JanaCova
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 1933
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| Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:53 am Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: I was actually thinking of taking on a new identity, Vanilla is getting a bit old hat, any idea's?
Vanilla icecreem,hm my favorite:-)))
jana xoxo |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:07 am Post subject: |
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Haha, there are people on this board (yes you Wildcard :D ) that already know what my reply to Yana's message will be based around, Hot woman+Cream=, you do the math heheh.
For once i am going to be nice and say thanks Jana, its sweet and creamy just like you :D
So any idea's, i was thinking of going the "Prince" route. |
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Wildcard
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Posts: 2133
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| Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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| How about The Joker? There's even an avatar in the Happy section just waiting to be used for that name. |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:52 am Post subject: |
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| That good, but i was thinking more along the lines of a certain t.v celeb here's a clue, his music is popular in Germany and he likes to pull his stomach in when running :D |
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richard_uk
Joined: 21 Aug 2004
Posts: 204
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:32 am Post subject: |
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U wanna be David Hasslehoff :?
sure he's loaded and is a talented singer with good moves but....U wanna be Hasslehoff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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JanaCova
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 1933
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| Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 12:35 am Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: For once i am going to be nice and say thanks Jana, its sweet and creamy just like you :D
.
Thnak you:-)))
jana xoxo |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 1:39 am Post subject: |
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tnx, Yana.
Ok i'll come clean i said i wanted to post as David Hasslehoff for a reason. I am David Hasslehoff!!!, thats right you guys are talking to a succesful actor and (in Germany) musician.
All neel before thee for i am Dave :lol: !!! |
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Dave T
Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: tnx, Yana.
Ok i'll come clean i said i wanted to post as David Hasslehoff for a reason. I am David Hasslehoff!!!, thats right you guys are talking to a succesful actor and (in Germany) musician.
All neel before thee for i am Dave :lol: !!!
You expect us all to bow down in front of a guy who used to star in a TV series with a talking car??????????
GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:lol:
Dave T |
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Wildcard
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Posts: 2133
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| Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: All neel before thee for i am Dave!!!
Um, Davie, you spelt kneel wrong. :mrgreen: |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 2:48 am Post subject: |
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It was not a talking car, it was a voice activated computer management system like they have in Merc's :D
"Neel" hahaha, oh fuck yeah, thats not like me hey ::w00t:: |
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Dave T
Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 11:32 am Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: It was not a talking car, it was a voice activated computer management system like they have in Merc's :D
Next you're gonna tell me that Mr Ed was a horse with a voice activated computer management system... :D
Dave T |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 12:19 pm Post subject: |
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No Dave (hey you have the same name as me!!) Mr Ed had nothing to do with computer trickery, he was a just a very intellegent horse who used his talent to go on and have a very succesful career in television.
I here he now lectures at Harvard!!! :D |
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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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Wildcard wrote: Vanilla wrote: All neel before thee for i am Dave!!!
Um, Davie, you spelt kneel wrong. :mrgreen:
Leave it to Einstein Wildcard to point out everyone's minor mistakes :lol:
Rich |
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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: No Dave (hey you have the same name as me!!) Mr Ed had nothing to do with computer trickery, he was a just a very intellegent horse who used his talent to go on and have a very succesful career in television.
I here he now lectures at Harvard!!! :D
Ok, so maybe David Hasselford's car didn't really talk, but there was a TV series with a real talking car. It was called "My Mother The Car" ... It was out around the same timeframe as Mr. Ed (I think - Kind of before my time, so not exactly sure when it was out - sometime in the early 60's). So there was a talking car. It was some dude's mother reincarnated as his car ... Really I'm not making this up.
Rich |
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Vanilla
Joined: 19 Jul 2004
Posts: 519
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| Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:47 am Post subject: |
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| God bless the Psycadelic era and all of it's bi-products hehe!!! |
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Dave T
Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 8:09 am Post subject: |
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Hey, I can remember My Mother the Car from when I was a kid.
Also those silly Herbie the Love Bug movies with the intelligent Volkswagen.
Anyway, if Vanilla is secretly David Hasselhoff, I want to know how he can explain inflicting Baywatch Nights on the world. I think that constitutes a crime against humanity. The episode where Hasselhoff has to go undercover dressed as a woman is one of the most horrific things I have ever witnessed. :lol:
Dave T |
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Rich
Joined: 12 Aug 2004
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:39 am Post subject: |
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Vanilla wrote: tnx, Yana.
Ok i'll come clean i said i wanted to post as David Hasslehoff for a reason. I am David Hasslehoff!!!, thats right you guys are talking to a succesful actor and (in Germany) musician.
All neel before thee for i am Dave :lol: !!!
Oops ... Something's not right here, Vanilla. How can you be David Hasslehoff, if in another thread you told me you were younger than Brad Pitt? I think Brad Pitt is still in his late 20's (possibly early 30's). David Hasslehoff has got to be in his 40's at least, maybe even 50's. :lol:
To Dave T - I Think the boy is telling fibs (referring to Vanilla aka David Hasselhoff wannabe).
Rich
P.S.
Remember the hard rock band, Vanilla Fudge?
P.S.S.
By the way, Vanilla ... It's Jana (with a "J"), not Yana (athough you do pronounce the J like a Y - I guess that's why a lot of people spell it wrong). But a good fan like you? You should be ashamed! |
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Wildcard
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Posts: 2133
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| Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 1:11 am Post subject: |
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Rich wrote: By the way, Vanilla ... It's Jana (with a "J"), not Yana (athough you do pronounce the J like a Y - I guess that's why a lot of people spell it wrong). But a good fan like you? You should be ashamed!
In Vanilla's defense, he did spell it correctly in an earlier posting he made (seen below).
Vanilla wrote: For once i am going to be nice and say thanks Jana, its sweet and creamy just like you |
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