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JOKE:Only in America

 
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Cassandre



Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 1214

Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:59 pm    Post subject: JOKE:Only in America  

Cassie sent this to me. She thought I'd like it. I did, and I thought you guys'd like it.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
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MissSecretAgent



Joined: 04 Jul 2009
Posts: 168

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:13 am    Post subject:  

Haha, sure made me laugh! Thank you Cassandre :lol:
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Marx-Paragon



Joined: 24 Apr 2009
Posts: 998

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:16 am    Post subject:  

my old man sent me these exact same jokes before, still hilarious though :lol:
god bless the US 8)
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Jerin Nekros



Joined: 10 Jun 2009
Posts: 727

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:31 am    Post subject:  

ah sweet delicious Irony
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Cassandre



Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 1214

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:33 pm    Post subject:  

Hehe, I thought you guys'd like this. Cassie gets a ton of jokes every day from Comedy Central (?) and she'll send the ones she thinks I'll like to me.

Your welcome poeple, who liked it. *^^*
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Poecilotheria_27



Joined: 05 Feb 2009
Posts: 124

Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:22 pm    Post subject:  

Thats funny, they're all very true :o
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Cassandre



Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 1214

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:46 am    Post subject:  

Thank you.

I have a question though. She told me she gets these from "Comedy Central", but I don't really know what it is..
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Ashton Gray



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4661

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:13 am    Post subject:  

Comedy Central is a television channel devoted to varying and increasingly insane forms of comedy. Though, your friend probably meant to go to their website, www.comedycentral.com
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JohnnyPsycho



Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 2302

Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:31 pm    Post subject:  

That list is much funnier if you read it with Yakov Smirnov's voice in mind... "What a country!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y5hEKfxm4M
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakov_Smirnoff
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Cassandre



Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 1214

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:21 am    Post subject:  

Thank you, Ashton.

And I'll look those up, Johnny.
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Ashton Gray



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4661

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:23 pm    Post subject:  

You're welcome.
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Cassandre



Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 1214

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:08 pm    Post subject:  

*^^*

*hugs Ashton*
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Ashton Gray



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4661

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 12:00 am    Post subject:  

*hugs back* One can never have enough hugs.
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Cassandre



Joined: 31 May 2009
Posts: 1214

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 1:43 am    Post subject:  

I know, right?
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